So there I was, in a WOMADelaide moshpit enjoying Chic play the greatest songs they’ve written for other bands. Some INXS, some Bowie, some Madonna, pretty good stuff. I was pulling some sweet moves, obediently clapping along, trying to avoid the mum in front of me who kept rocking out into me, and generally minding my own business, as they say.

When all of a sudden, I glanced to my left to see a half-full Coca-Cola bottle hurtling towards me through the crowd. Having retarded reaction time, I could do nought but stare transfixed, helplessly, as it soared over my head and split a hole in my forehead.

Seriously, does stuff like this ever happen to anyone else? My life’s FAR too interesting.

it was too much. At 3am I had to call in a SWAT team.

Farewell Frank, my long-time bedside buddy. You’d cheerily dance around me all night and affectionately nip at my skin.

Alas, no more.

Now I shall be the one to rest in peace.